We’ve all heard that famous and often (over) quoted saying; if you love something, let it go. That’s what I’ve decided to do with Chiang Mai, Thailand.
I truly love it here. I’ve visited Chiang Mai for the last three winters and have spent the last two using it as a base and stayed six months at a time.
When people ask me why I love Chiang Mai so much, I always tell them the same thing- Chiang Mai has every Western convenience you could want, but it is also still authentically Thai.
And you get both of these at prices less than half of what I was used to paying back home in Oklahoma, which is one of the most affordable states in the U.S.
I can see movies before they’re released in the U.S. in brand new, world class theaters for less than $5 USD a ticket.
I can enjoy a delicious Thai breakfast for .50 cents or have a designer brunch for around $6.
I have all of these conveniences (luxuries?) at my fingertips while still getting the authentic experience of living abroad and experiencing a new culture.
And I also have friends here– really good friends. We explore the city together, trying new restaurants and searching for the best brunch in town. We have deep talks about important things, and we encourage and support one another.
I have a life here. A good life. I’m actually happy.
So why do I want to leave?
In short, I’ve become too comfortable here. I love it too much. It’s become too easy.
I left home for adventure and excitement. Instead, I’ve found myself settled into a comfortable routine. Last year, when I used Chiang Mai as a base for seven months, I explored six different countries. This year, I went to one– when I visited Bali over Christmas and New Years. One country. The rest of the time I remained (happily) planted in Chiang Mai.
It’s beginning to feel very similar to my life back in Oklahoma City, and as much as I loved it there and I love it here, it’s not what I left for.
I need to be challenged, to shake things up, to start over.
Leaving Oklahoma City was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I lived there for more than twenty years, and I had and still have very deep roots there.
And while I won’t say that deciding to leave Chiang Mai has been nearly as difficult, it’s been difficult nonetheless. To leave the comfortable and familiar is scary, but at the same time I love it. It’s exhilarating. I love being thrown into new situations/unfamiliar environments and having to figure things out.
So where to next?
That’s a great question that I don’t have any answers to. I’ll soon be leaving to spend the summer in Europe again this year. I won’t make any final decisions until the temperature starts to drop and I need to set my sights on somewhere warmer. Right now my ideas are all over the place- Vietnam, Bali, Mexico and Central America are all possibilities.
I’m open to whatever options, possibilities and opportunities present themselves this summer.
And to be honest, when I left Chiang Mai last year, I said that I didn’t know if I’d come back, so I may end up eating these words when I return for something familiar. But right now, I don’t see that happening.
So goodbye crispy chicken restaurant, where I was always served an extra large container of dipping sauce because they never forgot that I asked for it once a year ago.
Goodbye to my friendly neighborhood laundry people who were always so quick with a smile and a hug, even though neither of us could speak a word of one anothers language.
Goodbye to La Moon, my favorite neighborhood bar–the scene of so many nights I can’t remember with people I’ll never forget.
Goodbye to my friendly housekeepers, who always tried in vain to teach me a handful of Thai words every week.
Goodbye to the ladies who run the street food stall across from my building who somehow, even though they show up to begin cooking every morning at 5:30, are always in the best mood and so friendly when I see them.
Goodbye to the sweet lady who ran the shop in the bottom of my building and would hide a container of hummus for me when it was about to sell out, because she knew I love the stuff so much.
Goodbye to the familiar, the comfortable, the known.
But if I remember correctly, the second half of the “if you love it” saying, is that “if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be.” So maybe this isn’t a goodbye but rather a see you later.
Interesting post this. I used to feel the same: that I had to keep pushing myself to move on, that it wasn’t necessarily a good thing to get too comfortable in a place. Then I realised: It’s actually a great thing to find a ‘home’ that is not necessarily my birthplace.
I feel like this in Greece.
And so, whilst it’s a base, I still ensure I travel as much as I want to, not that I feel I have to. And the older I get (not that I’m old!), the more I love having a foundation, an anchor.
Great post.
Thank you! I can definitely see Chiang Mai being somewhere I could come back to when I was ready to settle down but for now I still have so much traveling I want to do!
I know how you feel. I lived in Chiang Mai for a month and got pretty comfortable and clompacent pretty quick. I had a routine off gym, ice coffee and work, khao soi, happy hour, pool, pub, repeat. Days began to blur together and I started to go a little crazy. Still, love the place and miss that khao soi!
Shaun
http://www.thislifeintrips.com
The food, especially khao soi, will be one of the things I miss the most. I needed to work some gym time into my routine but that never seemed to happen lol.
Oh I know that bittersweet feeling of leaving a place you have loved for some time, a place that feels like home; realising that you’re too comfortable there now and thus in a way, lost the excitement of exploring the ‘new’, the ‘unexplored’. It’s such a mixed feeling! I am curious though – what do you do for work that you get to move around so much?
Yes, it’s sad but it’s time to go. It’s almost like I love it too much– it’s just become too comfortable. Time for a change! As for work- I’m a blogger and freelance writer.
I loved Chiang Mai and I was only there for 2 weeks so I can image you must be really sad to leave. Can’t wait to read about your next adventures. If you find yourself in London during your summer in London let me know. We have some great foodie places here
I’ve never been to London but I would love to go sometime- especially with a fellow foodie to show me around!
Thank you for sharing your story. I was in a similar situation until just 2 months ago. was living in Dubai for 9 years and it became too comfortable and too normal. Some different dynamics at play as to why exactly I left but I’ve been thrown into a completely new situation by relocating to Italy recently. I’ve been to Thailand a few times but never to Chang Mai, would love to visit and your post makes me want to even more!
Italy would be a big change from Dubai! But I love Italy– I could easily live there. Next time you visit Thailand Chiang Mai is a must- it’s one of my favorite cities ever.
its a tough call, leaving one’s comfort zone and everything one is used to. You will be looking back at this moment with a smile much later, as soon as you get into the more exciting phase of discovering and settling into the new.
I can certainly relate to your feelings about getting too comfortable in one place. I love slow travel, spending time in one location and really getting to know the region. Yet if you spend too long in one place, you get into a routine (isn’t that why we all go travelling in the first place, to break out of our routine?).
Great post and know how you are feeling. I used to hate moving on but it has to happen. It can be easy to get attach to a place and its harder to leave 🙁
We haven’t been to Chiang Mai, saying that we haven’t really explored the far east but it’s about time we went east instead of west. It does sound like the people are really friendly and welcoming no wonder you got so comfortable there.
You should definitely go! When you start to go if you have any questions please feel free to reach out and I’m happy to help.
I can certainly relate to this. Chiang Mai and Thailand in general is so beautiful with so much convenience. It really is hard to leave it, after just getting comfortable with your surrounding.
Yes, for sure. It’s beautiful and life there is so nice. Change is hard but I think it’s time.
Maybe try central america? That would be super exciting! I’m looking forward to where you end up deciding to move in the future!
Central America is actually on my short list of places to go! I have been there four times before- to Nicaragua, Honduras and Costa Rica. I would love to go explore more of the area.
It can be really hard to leave a place you love. Good for you for recognizing that it’s time to move on. And of course, leaving doesn’t mean you won’t ever be back again.
For sure I’ll be back! I have some friends thinking of visiting there next year and I’d love to join them on their trip and play tour guide.
We spend two months in Chiang Mai at the end of last year and to be honest I don’t quite get the hype. Chiang Mai is loud, dirty and the air quality is horrible. Definitely not our cup of tea. We much more prefer quiet little towns like Pai.
Really? You must have been during burning season. That’s the only time the air is bad. Most of us living there go to the south islands or Bali during that time. I like Pai also but it’s too small for me to stay for an extended period of time.
Reading your post made me a little nostalgic myself. I had the same feelings about the city I lived in earlier – I wanted to leave it because I was too comfortable there, that that was also the reason to not leave it.
Many wishes for your next city (or town)…hope you love it as much as Chiang Mai 🙂
I think most people that have visited there will understand it. It really is a great place to live and life is so nice and easy there. Thanks for your best wishes- I hope I can find somewhere I like as much also.
I loved my short time in Chiang Mai too and would like to be back. You echo my thoughts for my home city, Manila. That’s why I left for a different city. To get out of my comfort zone.
Exactly! Sometimes you have to let go to grow. I think it’s good to get out of your comfort zone.
“I need to be challenged, to shake things up, to start over”
This made me ponder. That is the real essence of travel. so wonderfully written Nathan. Loved the emotions you have weaved here. The gratitude you have expressed, the memories you have shared.
It is tough to leave a place that you call so akin to home, but then another adventure, another experience awaits.
Best wishes for that!:)
Loved this post written with the heart. I have never been to Chiang Mai but I understand the feeling and your reasons. If in the end you decide Central America for next winter I recommend you Nicaragua. Same landscapes than Costa Rica but 1/3 of tourists and 1/3 of the price
Good luck with your next move and next challenges!
Awww my heart strings! I’m about to leave round 2 of Sydney. Best City in the world. People always ask me why I have to leave if I love it so much. I don’t know tbh. It’s just a need to move that just can’t be satisfied if I stay…
Such a great personal post, love the insights you have. I hope to visit Chiang mai one day
It’s so easy to get comfortable somewhere but I’m glad you remembered why you left home in the first place. I have a feeling Chiang Mai is a place I’m going to love when we leave for a rtw trip. We want to start here because it just seems like the perfect place to explore yet relax.
Saying goodbye is never easy… especially to your favorite food places 😉 But seriously, thanks for sharing your story! I’d really love to visit Chiang Mai next year.
Sounds like Chiang Mai really made an impression and you’ve created some great memories. Sounds like you’ve really thought about why you want to leave and it’s always a good thing to follow your gut! Cheers to new adventures to come!
I have not been to Chiang Mai but have spent a lot of time Thailand . I am warning you (hahaha) that leaving Thailand would be more difficult than leaving Oklahoma! It grows on you. 🙂
Keep us posted and if your travel brings you to Mumbai let me know 🙂 🙂 Good luck!
This is a really great post – really informative, and relatable. I loved Chaing Mai, and this kind if reminded me why 🙂
Thank you! I really love it there as well. Even if I don’t go back to live I’m sure I’ll be back as a tourist.
Despite numerous trips to Thailand, I still haven’t made it to Chiang Mai, but everyone I’ve spoken with seems to love it. You make it sound very enticing … like the proverbial best of both worlds.
You have to go! Chiang Mai is amazing. I could easily see myself staying there long term.
i can totally relate to you.. almost 10 years back even i left my town Himachal Pradesh to pursue bigger things in life. it was hard but i think totally worth it… i am sure every ending has a new beginning attached to it..
Cheers for travelling more..!!